Wristbands Are Making A Comeback? Why, dear God, why?!

I’ve noticed that wristbands--not leather gauntlets a la Judas Priest, though those are pretty bad too--but wristbands (the ones that are supposed to be worn when working out or running or whatever) are making a comeback, and I can’t help but ask why? I’ve noticed them in lots of places--on male models, 12 year old boys, and cheesy pseudo 80s/emo bands (I think the singer or guitarist from Taking Back My Chemical All-American Fall-out At the Disco or something wears them). Who said wristbands are cool? Can I ask those same people if they’ve ever seen the video for “Let’s Get Physical” from Olivia-Newton John--only the most wristband-laden video ever made? I cannot fathom how someone could look at a wristband and think to themselves, “Gee, this is a nifty accessory, I think I’ll put it on and sport it like it’s 1983!” Wristbands are not cool. They have never been cool. They made an appearance in the 80s, God help us all, and for some reason, people have been thinking that 80s fashion was a good idea again. I know that these people that made this decision never actually wore the bad 80s fashion themselves, or they wouldn’t keep trying to shove it down our throats now. I mean, come on--leggings? Rubber bracelets? Bubble-skirts??? Next thing you know, girls are going to be wearing those annoying chain-link plastic necklaces and attaching large tacky plastic charms that look like a lipstick or a high-heeled shoe and guys are going to bust out the Skidz. And if that is going to happen, well will someone just shoot me now, please? I don’t think I can live through another decade of that.

So, if you really care about your loved ones, friends, coworkers, hell, even someone you find mildly interesting or entertaining, beseech them to abandon their wristbands, discard the leggings, banish all neon clothing in sight--because God help them (and you, for having to look at the atrocities) the pictures they take today will come back to haunt them later in life.