Carnivore...

When I was 14 years old, I discovered how veal gets to be veal--boxing baby calves into crates and nailing them shut so that their muscles never develop and get tough. They stay this way their entire short lives until they are slaughtered. I haven't eaten veal since I was 14. I cut out pigs and cows when I was 18. All flesh (including fish), at 19. I was a strict vegetarian for 5 years. After passing out everywhere (and I do mean everywhere--waking up on a then-B train into the city halfway between 36th Street and Pacific was not fun), I incorporated fish back into my diet. Fast forward 2 more years, and I started eating poultry because the passing out was back with a vengeance. I've been okay since then--up until recently that is, when I started passing out again. I've been on a mission to figure out how to get my IDA under control (see my now-hypocritical blog, about not eating cows for more info).

Last night, I was on the brink of passing out 3 times while in yoga. Admittedly it was hot in there and my period is due any day now, but those aren't the reasons. Over the past month, I've passed out a lot--sometimes 3 or 4 times in one day. So last night, I caved in...sort of. Brad added a tiny amount of beef broth to my mulligatawny soup--the first cow-product I've consciously consumed in 12 years. I'm really torn about the cow-eating. On the one hand, I still feel very much against eating cows--all animals actually. (I've been on an I-don't-eat-anything-that-walks-on-four-legs kick since I started eating poultry; it's the easiest way to explain my eating habits.) I hate the thought of killing anything because I need to eat. I know that I wouldn't be able to kill anything myself, so I don't feel justified in being a coward and having a meat industry slaughter animals for me to consume (not to mention how filthy that industry is). On the other hand, with the stomach problems I have, iron supplements are not working. They haven't worked for me in 12 years, and I'm really tired of passing out all the time. I hate feeling weak. So I'm going to eat cows. Not often, and certainly not right away...I'll start with the beef broth, and work my way up to a very small portion of beef sometime in the next couple of weeks. I'm also only going to consume organic beef whenever possible (obviously, I can't control that in restaurants, but I doubt I'll be eating that much beef anyway).

There are many, many people who are thrilled that I'm going to eat beef again--mostly those who have seen me pass out all the time like Brad, my mom, and my brother. Brad and G are taking me to Peter Luger's soon so I can have my first steak. I'm not as excited about it as they are, but I realize that it means something that every time I smell cooking beef, I get hungry. I've always believed that when your body craves a certain food, and that food is not junk like chips or French fries, it's because its missing a nutrient that the food contains. I've craved all sorts of things--broccoli, oranges, lemons, vinegar...and now, I'm craving beef. I guess thats my bodys way of telling me that its time to change my veggie-ways and have a burger.