You can do it!

I joined Weight Watchers today. Over the weekend I realized that I've gained TEN POUNDS since I've gotten married. I was a complete and total bitch to Brad over the whole weekend (except about kitty-related things) and I realize (in hindsight) that it's because I'm feeling fat and bloated. I feel completely disgusted by myself and think that I look like a big fat heifer. So in addition to taking my workouts up a notch, I joined Weight Watchers so I can feel like I'm taking control of what I eat. I noticed that I don't really overeat, but I don't make good choices sometimes. Did you know that a portion of Chicken Vindaloo is 10 WW points?? And a portion of Aloo Gobi is only 4 points! Oy. Another reason to give up on chicken (just a side note, I'm going to the doctor again tomorrow to get my blood work done--I need to see where my anemia and all that is at before I go back to being a vegetarian).

I don't know what the hell I've been thinking. I used to weigh a LOT. I mean I once weighed 192 pounds. I'm nowhere near that now, but lets just say when I was my thinnest adult weight, I was a full 68 pounds thinner (123--my thinnest weight since HS swimming) and I am determined to get back down around there. Maybe not 123 because I've seen pics of myself that thin and I look like I have a really big head, but 130 would be perfect. I mean, I'm 5'6", so 130 is ideal. I mean, I'm not overweight right now (the woman at WW actually asked me if I realized that I was already in my ideal weight range), but I'm not as thin as I want to be. And god damn it, I bought cute bikinis last year that didn't get enough use! I can do it, I can do it, I can do it!